Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Everyday...

June 9, 2015 Without you...

I struggle to do this all without you, it wasn't supposed to be me raised our boys. I never know if I'm making the right decision or how to handle these years. You were supposed to be here and it is hard not to sink into what it was supposed to be. These two boys and I need you more then you will ever realize. Breaks my heart to see them grow and do all the good and bad things without you here to guide them. I'm lucky to have other people to help and in thankful for that but some days it gets the best of me. 

Thursday, May 14, 2015 Cereal milk...

Memories make me smile but also make me miss you being here. I was eating my cereal for lunch today and I looked down at the bowl with only milk left in it and just laughed inside because we use to gross you out because boys and I would drink our cereal milk and thought it was so good and you thought it was so nasty. You were funny like that! 

Monday, May 11, 2015 More Memories...

Some days I still can't wrap my head around you being gone. The boys had a soccer game downtown tonight and we got there early so I took them to Eva Bandman park where you use to play soccer. Wow brings back some memories of you playing soccer and that was our place to go so and talk by the river. Seems like so long ago!!! 

We shared so many things there about both our past and future. I can close my eyes and see us sitting there, so young, you the charmer and life was so simple then and we didn't even know it. 

Sunday, March 22, 2015 Never the same...

Sometimes, something's and some people I will never understand and that's ok. Life is never what we expect and we can't stop living it. So you get up and live the life that you know will make him proud and smile because as hard as this life is without him I wouldn't change the time I had with him. 

I look at our boys and they grow so fast that we should never take a day for granted or miss anything. Don't hold on to what should be, don't hold on to the mistakes or hurts that you have or people have given you because it takes away from how good you can be today. And today you will not get back and you are NEVER promised tomorrow!!! So truly love the ones you have, forgive the people that hurt you because anger will only hurt you, and live this life that was taken away too soon from Derek.

 

Wednesday, March 2015

Sunday, March 7, 2015 Accepting...

Knowing life will forever be changed and living that life is hard. You can be happy but you are forever changed down to that empty spot in your soul that died that day with him. But you choose to live!!!