Tuesday, October 23, 2012 Shattered Glass

Well we are headed back from a good vacation at Disney, lots of old memories around every corner but we did our best to make new ones. I am so proud of the boys for letting themselves enjoy this trip, yes they talked about their daddy some but they just let themselves be kids and that was so amazing to see. Proud of them both even know they wore mom out!
The night before I left I knocked a wine glass off the counter and it hit the floor hard, shattering into a million little pieces. I of course cleaned it up with a broom and dustpan, then ran the vacuum over the floor. But then later that night and the next day before I left I found pieces in corners, under the table and I know a month from now I will find a piece in the most odd place. Guess that is a lot like my life, I will spend years picking up fragments of our shattered family after Derek's death. And just when I think I have it all another piece will emerge. I guess that's probably a weird way to look at it but that is what came to my mind as I was on my hands and knees cleaning it up and I don't expect anyone to understand it. It is a journey and not one that you just get over or get past, it is a part of me and my life that I know I will continue picking up all the pieces even the ones that emerge from the most odd places, even the ones that cut and leave more scars but the important thing is I never stop trying to pick it all up and make it okay for us again.