I was in Elizabethtown today for the first time in 2-3 months and it is always a little different everytime I walk into that place. It is easier then it was the first time but everytime I know that I will have memories and I will see his handwriting at some point. I guess the hard part now when I am there is that I don't see his handwriting as much because time has past and new people are there, his handwriting isn't as commmon to come across like it was when I first started this job. It still happens from time to time but not as often and that is a hard reality in its own. Because it shows how much time has went by and how he is not here anymore. I was filing some papers at work the other day, boxing them up to make room for more files and there it was, Derek's old expense reports and signature, it was hard to put them in a box and put a lid on it. It just makes reality hit that time continues to go on without him. I never thought I would be where I am but it is a hard reality that never gets easier. I hope to God that everyone keeps him close to their heart and the memories as they move on with their lives also because he was an amazing man.
I sat down to work on some things at his old desk in Etown and I remember that day we got it and hauled it down there to put together. I remember putting his pictures of us and the boys on it. I also remember also walking in and seeing his smiling face look up from his desk when I walked in to visit or say hi the times I got to. He enjoyed his job and he did a great job there. I was so proud of what he had done with his career at CED and enjoyed seeing him work so hard.
Memories are a good thing these days and you just have to take them in and keep them close because that is what we have of Derek now until we get to see him again. I miss him every moment still and that will never go away but with time you learn to live with it. You never get over it or past it! I miss Your smile Derek!
No comments:
Post a Comment