So I got up, got my boys up and we began our day like everyday and my boys had me smiling by the time we left the house. They amaze me everyday and I could never explain in words what they mean to me.
Well I went to the funeral home today to visit a friend who lost his dad. I had so much anxiety before I went, I didn't really want to go because I was scared but I knew it was something I had to do for my friend, to be there for him like he has for me in my rough year. So thank goodness my best buddy decided to drive me and keep my nerves calm. Don't know what I'd do without all the wonderful friends in my life that support me in the little moments when I don't put enough faith in myself. It was a rough day being there, the smell when I walked in the door brought tears to my eyes and I could not breathe for a moment, I don't know how long I held my breath but then a friendly hand and support held me together and I was able to stay for 45 minutes and be there for a good friend. Now his dad is up with Derek, dancing and having some good talks. I walked out of there, took a deep breath, and felt stronger. It will be okay and it takes steps to get there, rather they scare the hell out of me or not, I will keep stepping forward. When I don't feel strong I will have my friends to support me like today. I am learning a lot about what friendship means these days, some people prove it to me daily and others continue to not understand what true friendship is.
In the end I am good! I am now off for a little get away for a few days. It will be good!
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