I keep thinking I just need to trust in GOD and pray he knows what my life is doing but that is hard when Derek and I trusted him to live our lives and praise him. How could losing my husband be part of me ever having a good life. I have stopped asking the Why and What if but I will never understand why GOD thought this life was better without Derek, he was an amazing man that anyone who knew him would tell you. I know GOD didn't cause the accident but he could have protected Derek. So yes it is hard to trust in GOD to lead me in my life and I hate to even admit that.
I know that I have to try and trust in GOD and people in my life again but it will always be a struggle.
I'm tired and everyday is like climbing a hill that never ends. It was a good weekend and right now I have to take it at that, take the good with the bad. I enjoyed some wonderful friends the past two days and it helps me know that we will be okay just will take some time and trust. And it helps to know people care.
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