This is the last picture I have of Derek the night before, for Ethan's birthday, 10 months and 1 day ago...Still can't believe how long it has been and how bad it still hurts to wake up in the morning. It's that one second before I completely wake up that you still think it was all a bad dream but it doesn't last long before you know that is just not true. The flash backs went away for a little while but have came back lately, I guess they remind me that life changed without our control and you should let people know you love them today because you never know what tomorrow brings. Thank God Derek and I understood that and never let a day go by to say "I Love You" or "I'm Sorry", even that day in Bardstown as he put my helmet on to make sure I was safe, he kissed me and said "I Love You". For me that is a hard one these days due to the walls I put up but I also know that the people that really love me and want to be in my life will always be there to knock the walls down no matter what, that is what love, family and friendship are all about. So please tell the people in your life that you care today!!!
All I can say is that we are learning to live again even during the rough times. It has been a rough journey and it will continue to be but we will continue to move forward. I have learned so much the past 10 months about people and even about myself these days. It is amazing the family and friends that have stuck by me no matter what, old and new. It's been a rough couple weeks but I am getting refocused and trying to learn to breathe. It is tricky because everytime I think I can breathe something hits me by surprise but I will handle it and be okay, one day at a time! Love you all very much!
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone young or old a like and today
may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight...
so, if your waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
for if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day.
So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, tell them how much you love them,
and that you'll always hold them dear...
Take time to say "I'm sorry", "Please forgive me", "Thank you", "It's ok" or "I Love You"
and if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
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