On July 2, 2011, Derek Anderson, an amazing father, husband, son, brother, uncle and friend died and with his death our world crumbled into a million pieces. I sit here today, 2 years later, looking back and reflecting on this journey and wondering where the road will take us now, as I begin my third year.
When Derek was first gone, I discovered other women in my same situation and blogs on the internet. All the writings and girls said that the second year was worse than the first. I didn’t understand how that could be possible but now I understand it a little more. I don’t know if I can explain why but both years had their struggles, the first year you have a lot of first people say but really you have a lot of first the rest of your life without them here. The second year I grew, grieved, healed and got stronger. I am not the same person I use to be that is for sure. I think the hardest part of the second year is seeing Derek disappear out of our life as far as new memories. We will never forget him or the memories we have of him and we are living our new chapter in our life and will miss him every day.
Derek changed me and anyone he touched in this life, his smile, his laugh, the way he could talk to anyone or just let you know he cared. I can’t say enough good things about him and all the positive ways he touched my life. He is missed every day, not just today but every day he is thought of, remembered and makes me smile knowing that I was so blessed to have him the time I did. There are also still tears and sadness that come along the way, it is still hard but the memories I hold close and have to hold onto the hope that he is watching over us from a much better place.
Today I will focus on the good things and hope that this journey will continue to get easier for us all as we heal along the way.
“Hope does not arise from being told to think positively. Hope is the elevating feeling we experience when we see – in the mind’s eye – a path to a better future. The path acknowledges the significant obstacles and deep pitfalls and has no room for delusion. Hope gives us the courage to confront our circumstances and the capacity to surmount them. We are just beginning to appreciate the power of hope and have not defined its limits. I see hope as the very heart of healing.”
- Dr Jerome Groopman, Harvard Medical Professor and Author of the book The Anatomy of Hope.
