Monday, March 19, 2012

Today Eric and I took the boys to Derek's favorite golf course to the driving range. Hertiage Hill, beautiful course. We all had a great time!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Today was a good day and we don't get to say that all that often. WE got up went to church and then had brunch at Olive Garden with Rhonda, Eric, Peyton, Lorrain and Ralph for Rhonda's birthday.
We then had soccer pictures and were planning to head home to get some things done. Instead we were asked to go fishing with the Muddell's and I decided that some good time with my boys and friends was more important then getting the house cleaned (something a friend or mine figured out about spending time with our kids that matter)

So we had a good afternoon of fishing and friends. Ethan caught five fish, Garret caught two and Brant caught two. Mom caught zero!!!! It was good to relax and enjoy the day.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Camp Comfort Zone Weekend!!!!!
I will make this short and sweet, it was a good weekend and we never really get to say that anymore. All three of us are coming home with a little peace and some very special friends that I hope will always be a big part of our lives. I pray that this is a big part of us starting to heal because we so need it. We will be coming back every year, if it was up to the boys we would move here. I have learned some things and plan on making sure we are moving in the right direction and staying positive and putting positive things in our life.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Off to Camp Comfort Zone, so many emotions & so strange!!! Boys are so excited and I hope this helps them in their healing process, I want to so help them be okay, I hate they have to go through this life without such a wonderful father that they loved so much. Well here is to the weekend!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Well I did my first 5K today, not the best time but I finished. I promised myself that I would do this when I was laying in UofL hospital. It felt good to do but missed seeing Derek waiting at the finish line, another bitter sweet moment. Next is a 10K!!! I had some amazing family and friends join me for support and I so appricate all they have done.

Friday, March 2, 2012

You were so full of life, always smiling and carefree,
Life loved you being a part of it, and I loved you being a part of me.
You could make anyone laugh, even if they were having a bad day,
No matter how sad I was, You could take the hurt away.
Nothing could every stop you, or even make you fall,
You were ready to take on the world, ready to do it all.
But God decided he needed you, so from this world you left,
But you took a piece of all of us, Our hearts are what you kept.
Your seat is now empty, and it's hard not to see your face,
But please always know this, no one will ever take your place.
You left without a warning, Not even saying good-bye,
And I can't seem to stop, Asking the question why?
Nothing will ever be the same, the house is empty without your laughter,
But I know you're in Heaven, watching over us and looking after us.
I didn't see this coming, it hit me by surprise,
And when you left this world, a large part of me died.
Your smile could brighten my day, no matter what I was going through,
And I know everyday for the rest of my life, I'll be missing you.
8 months have past and each day we start to learn how to live without you
with us but it is still so painful.

I Love You D!!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Wow, 8 months ago today I was rolling over in bed to Derek leaving for a half a day of work before celebrating Ethan's 8th birthday with wonderful family and friends. He drove off on his bike for one of the first times on the highway (he never did that much) I remember being nervous about it but of course he kissed me goodbye and as always promised everything was going to be alright. He was right for that day because he returned home safe to me for one more night. I still remember the way he smiled and told me everything was okay, that look he use to give to tell me I worry too much. We had an amazing day and night with our family that day. Movie and dinner with the Boone's, Harshfield's, Brown's, Maddie and our little foursome and then cake at home to be finished with a couple drinks and awesome conversation with two of our best friends on the back porch with the kids swimming in the background. Who would have thought that it would be the last night that I laid beside him and in his arms.
I haven't thought about that day as much because the day after was so horrible but the day before was amazing and I am glad we had that.
I know we were all so happy but did we ever really appreciate it so much to realize it could be taken away so easy. I mean we knew we were lucky but we never realized how it could change in just a split second.
Well I never normally share that much of my personal thoughts but for some reason I did. As I am being told to get out of my comfort zone a little.