Found another bad thing about sleeping alone and not having another adult in the house. What a night of restlessness, must have been something I ate. Remember those dreams you had as a kid that you woke up screaming out, heart racing, you wanted to hide under the covers and didn't want to put your feet down on the floor. Well that was my night, kind of funny, I have had very few of those in my adult life but for some reason I woke up at 4:00 am screamed out enough to wake me, my heart was racing and I was scared to death. I had to pee plus a pounding headache but I felt like a child that was scared to get out from under the covers. The few dreams I have had like that I always woke Derek enough to tell him I had a bad dream, he would put his arms around me and tell me it's okay and I would go back to sleep. But not this morning, this morning I laid there and debated with myself about the dream and that it was just a dream, to get out of bed and take something for my head. So eventually I did but of course I turned on every light in the house on the way. Weird thing is I remember very little of the dream, I remember two parts, one part the boys and I were in a van and had a little fire in the dash, so I got the boys out and stood there staring at my cell phone knowing I had nobody to call and ask to come get us or help. Then the last part I remember hearing someone yelling mom and I was locked in a basement, I busted down the door and started screaming for the boys and I woke up screaming, weird dreams!!!!
I guess in the end it's a lot like my life, I could choose to hide under the covers and be scared to live or face the world everyday and most people would probably understand that but I refuse to do that, I pull myself up everyday and face the fear, in which it makes me stronger and more independent on my own.
Then every little thing tried to knock me down this morning but I handled each one very well, didn't get upset, didn't raise my voice, just took it with a smile and patience (I know hard to believe) and in the end it all worked out good. Today will be a good day!!!!
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