“God knows your value; He sees your potential. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head up high, knowing that God is in control and he has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but the bible says that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways, even when everybody else rejects you, remember, God stands before you with His arms open wide. He always accepts you. He always confirms your value. God sees your two good moves! You are His prized possession. No matter what you go through in life, no matter how many disappointments you suffer, your value in God’s eyes always remains the same. You will always be the apple of His eye. He will never give up on you, so don’t give up on yourself.”
This little saying I have had for a long time and I sometimes go back to it and read it to help myself remember that I have to trust in things and not worry about the things I can not change or control. It still amazes me on how much this life and journey is full of it's ups and downs and how I continue to battle trusting that things will be okay and knowing that I have to relax a little and not overthink everything but that is just part of who I am and it needs improvement. Had a few bumpy days but as always I have bounced back with help of friends of course that are there anytime I need them to just listen or tell me to relax a little and enjoy the wonderful gifts I do have in my life. I don't know and I can not know where this journey will take me but so far I can't complain because in all that our family has had to deal with since July 2, 2011 we have seen and have had blessings happen in our life. It will never change the fact that the horrible day changed our life or that we miss Derek everyday but it reminds us that we have to hold our heads up high and live this life and don't ever take even one breath or blessing for granted. Life is good for our boys and me, we have settled into our new "norm" or this "chapter" of our life. I like this chapter and the direction my journey is going these days and I will continue to take it a day at a time. I have days I miss my old chapter but I know that was my life and there is no changing what happened, I will cherish the life I had always and never regret the time I had Derek in my life even if it was cut way too short but because of that life and the things Derek taught me I will live the life I have been given to live. I will have days or moments, I will fall down but I will always get back up and continue forward. Because this is our life, we were given it to live and we will live to the fulliest.
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